Coaching is trusting; trusting is knowing; so get to know me.
YDLC... Why Dee? Look & See.
If you speak to someone close to me, you may hear many different descriptions of me. I have conflicted views about labels, as I feel they create tunnel vision; but they are helpful when you want to know who someone is in a nutshell. These are a few that represent parts of who I am, and where I come from; maybe you can relate to or resonate with some:
You will learn how these became descriptions for me as we go, and I promise it’s a ride, so buckle up!
All before the age of 23 I had experienced what many don’t experience in a lifetime. I had a brilliantly beautiful childhood growing up on a farm, having the opportunity to have a successful athletic career with my adolescent passion for rugby. When I came out as a lesbian, I had the love and support of my family. I had a passion for firefighting from the first time I sat in a fire truck as a child and pursued that goal, achieving a career as a firefighter in St. John’s, NL and as a Technical Rescue Specialist all over Canada. But, with all the beauty there was darkness. I had suffocated people in toxic behaviour in my youth, then was abused in an extremely toxic marriage that shattered my entire perspective on life at 23 and made me question my existence. Let me tell you: my life has been so wild that most say it's a movie; it must be fictional for my age to have experienced it (more on this in later blog posts). I have always intently invested in myself (and believe me, have I ever got lost along the way). Particularly in personal growth, and the unlimited potential that exists there. To develop internally it takes deep, intentional self-improvement in a way that borders on a quest. Now, as I am nearing my 30's after years of intense self-dissection, I am truly humbled by the changes I have embraced in my life to create this feeling of self-love. Experiencing real love, educating myself, self-discovery, and allowing myself to be vulnerable, have given me skills and strength to provide meaningful help to others. I have developed an insatiable curiosity that is directed particularly at human culture and I seek to use my skills and knowledge to make a difference.
When I was younger, I knew I had a passion that I couldn't quite understand or process; there was a connection to the world around me that most others didn't seem to share. Helping people felt like home. It started off on the farm, the community and connection that it takes to run a farm successfully have been engrained in my roots. That desire for community shifted into active participation in sports, then into my career at the fire hall. The outcome wasn't what I was chasing, it was being a part of something where the connections I made shaped me. One thing I know is that in these environments it is difficult to be vulnerable and to focus on yourself because it isn't just about you, it's about the community, the team, but having the courage to express the raw parts of yourself can actually help create community and team bonds. The journey I've taken to get here has been about understanding myself. Life Coaching will be about you; I can use my experience to help you find that courage to be vulnerable, to teach you life skills, to teach you how to heal. I can give my experiences, tragedies and victories a purpose; investing in my clients to drive real change.
When I am observing people and events, my mind always shifts beyond the concrete world; questioning, wondering, making connections. Trying to understand why, rather than forming judgement. My perceptive abilities seemingly go deeper than the traditional senses. My empathic sensitivity is like a full set of tuning forks in my heart that can resonate with someone’s emotional state, creating a deep connection. Following my heart and feeling my emotions help me to see life in colour, in diverse forms. Years of self-reflection has granted me insight into the motivations of others that they may not yet be aware of. I see magic where others see hum-drum daily life. I am inspired by experiences and human connection above all. My coaching style is to engage in discussions about the present, rather than possible negative outcomes or “what ifs?”.
We can’t change the past, but we can focus on what impact it has had on you, and come up with a plan to move forward.
I pursue things with an underlying realism, a sense of higher purpose, a conviction to serve the greater good, which is motivated by intangible rewards felt in my soul. I usually don't pay much mind to the limits set by society. I insist on surpassing them, breaking the toughest barriers to show others that it is possible. Tempering passion with practicality can be a challenge for me. I work diligently, with personal ties remaining strong through the slow steady work of bringing hearts and minds together. My devotion can be intense, at times people may find it daunting to be in company of such unswerving drive, but it is also why I am so fitting for the role of a Life Coach; I am dedicated to helping you achieve your goals, identify your purpose, and make your dreams become reality. I will tolerate hesitation towards positive change if that hesitation is generated by personal fears. However, I will fight passionately against forces perceived as evil, to help you become a better person. I rely on moral and ethical decisions, doing everything I can to stay true to my deeply held values which leaves me always able to find a positive. In turn, this can leave me struggling to relate to people when it comes to egoism and self-interest for the wrong reasons. I love exploring possibilities and honouring the varying point of view of the people around, unless they collide with my personal set of morals and ethics, which I understand won't always be there for some. We must trust and prioritize a focus on ourselves, rather than our surroundings, but do so while maintaining kindness towards ourselves and others.
With Life Coaching, I'm excited to take on a bigger role, another identity. I want to help people discover how they feel about themselves. The way you feel about yourself directly related to how others will feel about you. It affects every relationship in your life and what you can contribute to the world. I like to think I'm a specialist at seeing the best in other people. Having a never-ending desire to put things together in wonderful ways. Personal growth for me is about embracing change and the discomfort it brings. Our sessions will be about learning to find comfort in the discomfort, finding enlightenment. Surrounding ourselves with like minded individuals does not necessarily provide us with opportunities for the greatest growth; experiencing and listening to the perspectives of others who are unlike us can help us grow the most.
PTSD is part of my identity; it does not limit me. In fact, recognizing and understanding its impact has excelled my growth. My mind is often moving at a thousand miles a minute, and maybe not always in a helpful way, but I would like to think that any thought that exists within me deserves a space to be free. Finding the right people to surround myself with, who understand my existence the same way I understand myself, who accept my existence, and stand with me through any curveballs it may take, keeps me growing, learning, and evolving. It's a never-ending dance with your identity, a patience that everything has its peak, the acceptance that challenging times will pass... it's standing up for yourself and setting your boundaries with the things that make us human. Through Life Coaching we will build a path to guide you to setting boundaries and finding acceptance within yourself and with your support system.
YDLC So, why Dee? Together.. we can Look and SEE(C).
As a Life Coach, I won’t be your counsellor. Therapist. Friend. I'm your professional partner in the present, looking toward your future; I will be your guide on the path to achieving your goals, in your own ways. I'm trained to take you on this journey; you have the answers within yourself to make the changes in your life that you want to take, I will help you discover them. It is me that helps you look at your life, notice the things you may not slow down for or skip over in this chaotic world. I will help you see it for what it is. A lot of times people question my outrageous lifestyle, my energy, my mind, they ask why I do the things I do, WHY DEE, which lead me to the abbreviation. Often... I can explain exactly why I did it, said it, or will do it because I've sat with the “why”. My beautiful brain focuses on the "Y" with such an intensity, that all I must do is "look" and "see."
Life Coaching is not to focus on the past, we must visit here not stay; we are who we are for a million different reasons. Our connection will be to understand your past with ways of reflection, not question it, we look to see. We go on to progress.
If you're ready to take a look and see, let’s connect.